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SUICIDAL THOUGHTS (NO ONE'S HOME) (Explicit) - Ryan Oakes
以下歌词翻译由文曲大模型提供
Lyrics by：Ryan Oakes/Jayden Seeley
Composed by：Ryan Oakes/Jayden Seeley
Oh it's quiet in the evening
暮色四合 万籁俱寂
Dust on the ceiling
天花板上积满尘埃
Knock on the door but no one's home
叩响门扉 无人应答
Feel myself slipping
感觉自己在沉沦
And I hop in the whip
钻进车里发动引擎
Thinking a night drive will settle me
以为夜驰能抚平心绪
And I'll get a grip
以为能找回自己
I put my foot down on the gas
将油门狠狠踩到底
And now I'm starting to drift
此刻我开始渐渐沉沦
And I can feel my heart beating deep
能听见肋骨深处的心跳
Inside of my ribs
在胸腔里震颤
Going over all scenarios
反复推演所有可能性
And all the what-if's
与种种未竟的假设
I think that it's about time
或许是时候该
I try to give 'em they wish
成全他们的期许
I'm thinking 'bout a way to end it
正思忖着终结的方式
So it's painless and quick
这样既无痛又干脆
And go from someone they know
从他们熟悉的那个人
Into somebody they'll miss
变成他们会怀念的身影
I could hit a brick wall
我可以撞向砖墙
Like all the ones that I built
就像我筑起的那些心墙
Around myself or maybe swallow down
或是干脆吞下
A bottle of pills
一整瓶药丸
But maybe not
但或许不该这样
'Cause I can't even learn to swallow the guilt
因为我连内疚都无法咽下
Or tell my therapist the way
也无法向心理医生倾诉
I ******* actually feel
我真实的感受
Homie ****'s getting real
兄弟 情况越来越糟
'Cause I'm sick of the pain
因为我厌倦了痛苦
Got the drive inside of me
内心涌动着驱动力
From never catching a break
却从未得到喘息
It's an infection I can feel it
这是种蔓延的感染 我能感觉到
Spreading out in my veins
绝望在我血脉中蔓延
And the only to beat it is accepting my fate
唯有接受命运才能挣脱桎梏
Oh it's quiet in the evening
暮色四合 万籁俱寂
Dust on the ceiling
天花板上积满尘埃
I wrote a note to all I've known
我给所有相识写下诀别信
Was never the right time
永远都不是合适的时机
I said my goodbyes
我已道尽最后的告别
Knock on the door but no one's home
叩响门扉 无人应答
I'm exhausted from circling inside of my head
在思绪漩涡中我已精疲力尽
I'm feeling nauseous struggling
恶心感翻涌 我拼命喘息
With catching my breath
却始终无法顺畅呼吸
100-pound weight buried deep inside of my chest
百斤巨石深埋在我胸口
I'm going round eight
第八回合的较量
Waking up and covered in sweat
惊醒时浑身浸透冷汗
With nothing left to give
再也无力付出什么
And nothing left to lose
也再没什么可失去
I'm thinking this is it
我想这就是终点
It's time to make my move
是时候迈出那一步
I rip out every stitch
撕开所有缝合的伤口
Open up all my wounds
任旧伤再次血流
To feed the emptiness
只为填补这虚无
I got a date with fumes
我与毒雾约定相守
I'm filling my garage with carbon monoxide
车库里弥漫一氧化碳的温柔
While I'm on the phone with the suicide hotline
电话那头是自杀热线的挽留
Telling 'em my life sucks
诉说着我糟糕的人生
I'm ready to swap sides
我已准备好改变立场
And when I'm gone time
当我离去后
Will keep on moving clockwise
时间仍会继续流转
Nah
I'ma end this with the way it started
我要以最初的方式结束这一切
The Hollywood way
好莱坞式的方式
They can milk and market
他们可以消费并营销
A knife from my back to my wrist and carve it
刀刃从背脊滑向手腕 刻下伤痕
And finally give myself a red carpet
终于为自己铺开猩红地毯
Damn
该死
Oh it's quiet in the evening
暮色四合 万籁俱寂
Dust on the ceiling
天花板上积满尘埃
I wrote a note to all I've known
我给所有相识写下诀别信
Was never the right time
永远都不是合适的时机
I said my goodbyes
我已道尽最后的告别
Knock on the door but no one's home
叩响门扉 无人应答
Tap on the window
轻敲窗棂
I thought that the reaper
恍惚间我以为死神
Was tucking me into my bed
正为我掖好临终被衾
It was a cop and the way
原来是警察
That he found me
当他发现我时
He thought he was pulling out somebody dead
还以为在打捞一具尸体
Calling me lucky and telling me
他说我命不该绝
Somebody's coming to put me together again
有人正来将我重新拼凑完整
Suddenly something was changing
突然间某些事物开始转变
I'm feeling like I can see
仿佛能透过全新的视角
Life through a different lens
重新凝视生命
Now it's all hitting me
此刻一切骤然明晰
What was I thinking
我究竟在想些什么
Thought I didn't wanna survive
曾以为自己不愿存活
Hard to believe a coincidence didn't just happen
难以相信这并非偶然巧合
And all of this wasn't a sign
这一切并非预兆
But in that time is
但在那一刻
When I noticed that I felt alive
我恍然惊觉自己仍活着
I had to cheat death to realize
唯有欺骗死神才让我明白
I didn't wanna die
我本就不愿逝去