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Hello Guys
I'm maxson glad to be here with you reading this book
Today we come to the fourth part of the chapter one
And i wanna see these days am encouraged by many people that's very very kind and very good thing though not on this project
大家好
我是十二月
很高兴和你共读这本书
今天我们该读这个第一章的第四部分了
开始之前呢
想说最近在英语的学习上得到了很多人的鼓励
虽然不是在这个我们共得的这本书上
但是我也觉得很受鼓舞
嗯 开始吧
Paen creates a conflict
Between the way things are
And how we like them to be
And that makes our lives feel unsatisfactory
The more we wish our lives were different
The words we feel for example
If a car accident lend someone in a wheelchair for life
The first year is usually the toughest
As we learn to adapt what typically return to our formal level of happiness
We can measure our happiness by the gap between what we want and how things are
嗯嗯嗯
这里是讲我们期待和我们的期待和现实之间的这种差距
通常就会让我们感觉到不舒服
比如说你越期望你的生活变得不不一样
你就会感觉越糟
比如说 呃
如果有人因为一场车祸
嗯
变得截瘫
需要靠轮椅来生活
第一年往往是最困难的
但是一旦当他学会了怎么去适应之后
其实很快就能回到他以前的幸福水平
嗯
我们怎么样去测量我们的这个幸福水平呢
就看我们想要的和现实之间到底有多少差距
这后面其实是有讲了一个例子
嗯 一个观察
讲的是人们中了乐透之后
对对
还有这个因为车祸失去了双腿之后
他们的快乐水平其实是在一段不算太长的时间之后
就恢复到他们发生这些巨变之前的这么一个状态
我想我会在晚一点的时候把这一个现象给大家讲一下
叫做快乐适应
但是其实我们肯定都有听过的
Okay
Most of us believe that our happiness depends on the external circumstances of our lives
Therefore we spend our lives on a tatmmail
Continually arranging to have pleasure and avoid pain
When we experience pleasure
We grasp for more of them
When we experience pain
We avoided both of these reactions are instinctive
But they are not successful strategies for emotional will being the problem with plaasure
Seeking is that the plaasure will end at some point
And we will become disappoint it
We fall out of love
Our belles become full
Our friends go home
The problem with avoiding pain is that it's just not possible to do
And they often gets worse with our increased efforts to try for example
Eating to reduce stress can cause obesity
Obesity for example
For example to dudustress can cause obesity
Obesity for example
Eating to reduce stress can cause obesity and working excessively to overcome low self as stem can lend you in the grapve
Okay
嗯
很多人都觉得我们的幸福快乐是建立在外部的环境之上的
所以呢
我们就好像把我们的生活都放在一个跑步机上去不停的去重复这么一个行为
什么呢
去想要拥有快乐
然后避免伤痛
当我们有体验到快乐的时候
我们就想要更多更多
但是我们一旦遇到伤痛的时候
我们就想尽量的去回避它
这些行为呢
其实都是我们人天生的本
本能的会去追求这些
但是你想要你的情绪稳定健康
这其实不是一个好事
嗯
比如说你在追求快乐的过程当中
你会发现这些快乐它总有一天会停止
嗯
你就会变得很失望
比如说
嗯
我们跟别人分手了
或者说肚子太撑了
朋友回家了这些等等的情况
那如果你通过这些方式去回避那些伤痛
其实是没有办法做到的
是无法实现的
你比如说
嗯
你靠吃来减轻你的压力
最后会导致你过度肥胖啊
过劳的去工作来试图对抗你的低自尊
最后有可能会让你过劳死
大概就是这样子的
你去越去追求这种快乐
你用其他的方式去追求快乐
可能你会损失的更多
It's possible to be completely controlled by the instinct to seek pleasure and avoid pain
I know a man stood who took great pleasure in drinking alcohol
When he was younger ger started drinking
When he
He was fourteen years old
By the time stood was twtwenty
He routiny drank a case of beer
That is twenty four kens per night one evening
He had a panic
A track
While he was drunk
And it's so frightened them that he never drunk again
Beer the source of so much pleasure had become terrifying overnight
Because he associated with his panic attrack stewards
Then stopped going anywhere or doing anything that could possibly trigger a panic a track
Including other things
He used to enjoy such as driving his truck around around town and going to baseball games
First the pleasure of alcohol dominated his life
Then the fear of a panic attracted stewart was hosted to these short term states of mind pleasure and pain 讲了一个例子
就是我们去追逐快乐
避免伤痛
其实是受我们的本能所驱逐的
嗯
这里他讲了一个叫斯图尔特的一个年轻人的例子
他一开始呢
在很很小的时候他就开始喝酒
从中得到快乐
十四岁的时候就开始喝了
等他到二十岁的时候呢
他每天晚上要喝一箱啤酒
也就是二十四罐
有一天晚上他喝喝醉之呢
突然
嗯
发生了一次这个我们叫做panic attract
就是恐慌
遭遇了一次恐慌
那这个就把他吓到了
他在那之后就再也没有喝过酒
啤酒原来是他的快乐的源泉
但是他当他把啤酒和这个恐慌焦虑发作联系起来之后
他就再也不能在这件事情上感到快乐了
从此以后呢
他哪儿也不去
以前喜欢做的事情也都不做了
比如说他以前很喜欢开着他的卡车去闲逛
或者说去看棒球赛
现在都不去了
以前呢
是由酒精来操控他的快乐
现在呢
是惊恐发作来主导他的这个伤痛
所以说他就变成了这种寻求短期的快乐和避免伤碰的这么一个人质
所以这个就是
嗯
You depend on the external circumstces of your life 啊
You
You put your happiness under things like that
That's possible
That's impossible
所以就是说把自己的快乐幸福建立在这些外部的事情上面
它是多么的不可靠
A new approach is to change our relationship to pain in pleasure
We can step back and learn to become in the midst of pain
We can let pleasure naturally come and go
That's sereality
We can even learn to embrace pain as well as pleasure and every news in between thereby leaving each moment to the fullest that's joy
Learning how to spend some time with pain is essential to achieving personal happiness
It masound paradoxicbut in order to be happy
We must impress ununhappiness
这里讲了
要我们要怎么改变我们跟这些伤痛和快乐的这个关系呢
你可以往后退一步
当你在伤痛的时候保持平静
也可以让这些快乐幸福的愉快的感觉自在的来自在的走
这就叫做平静啊
我们可以学着去拥抱那些愉快的感觉
同时也拥抱那些伤痛的感觉
而且包括他们之间从快乐到悲伤中间的每一个细微的差别
细微的位置
细微的区域
然后呢
你就能够让你的自己的生活得到一种全然和完满的那种感觉
所以怎么样去和伤痛共处是非常重要的
听起来好像有点矛盾
但是你想要获得幸福
那你就要学会拥抱不幸福
Okay
So i think that's for today
And there are two series or observations um about this paragraph
I will show you next day
好啦
那今天就是这样吧
后面有两个跟这个相关的理论和实验或者说研究
我们下一节
明天再见
拜拜