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I found your letters in a drawer last night
Written in a hand I almost didn't recognize
You never showed me these —
Pages full of weather full of "we'll be fine"
When nothing was fine at all
You wore the winter so I'd never feel the cold
Held every door against the storm
And called it "nothing"
Called it "just the way it is"
I didn't know then
What I see now
Standing where you built the ground
I walk through gardens that you planted in the rain
I stand on mountains that you climbed with all your pain
Every light I've ever known
You lit with hands I never saw
I'm living in the world
You only dreamed of
As you dreamed —I am
You folded years into a quiet room
Gave up your name so I could have a voice
You swallowed every word you wanted to say
Just so mine could fill a room one day
I found a photograph —you're twenty-three
Standing in a doorway looking straight ahead
You looked like someone about to
Carry something very far
And you did
I didn't know then
What I know now
Every step I take
Was paved by someone kneeling down
I walk through gardens that you planted in the rain
I breathe the air you cleared with all your silent pain
Every sky I've ever seen
You opened with your bare hands
I'm living in the life
You held together
With your own two hands
As you dreamed —I am
And maybe you are somewhere
Reading over my shoulder now
Maybe you can hear the words
You never got to say coming out of my mouth
If there's a place where every sacrifice is seen
Where every sleepless night shows up as morning light
Then hear me now —
Thank you
For the ground beneath my feet
For the air I didn't earn
For the life I get to live
Because you chose to burn
Without a single match
Just your own two hands
Just your own brave heart
I walk through gardens —and I see your hands in every leaf
I stand on mountains —and I feel you breathing underneath
Every song I'll ever sing
Began inside your silent years
I'm living what you whispered
In the dark when no one heard
And I'll spend my whole life saying
What you never could —
As you dreamed
I am
As you dreamed
I am
I am