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Hello

Everyone

And welcome to america under the microscope advanced episode

Hi Luli I

James

Let's continue with the relationship talk or family and marriage

Marriage

嗯

First of all is marristill still seen as an essential thing

Nope in fact marriage rate has been falling over the past fifteen years

It has felt nine percent

Wow

So fewer and fewer people are getting married

But doesn't necessarily mean people are not having relationthing than living together

No

People are still cohabitating

They're still having long term relationships

It's just fewer

People are just going through the paperwork to be married

Because they don't want a trouble

Because they partially don't want a trouble

There sometimes aren't really any legal benefits um of it

Because there are legal benefits have being married

Tax benefits

Its and things like that

But in some cases

You may not get any

But usually when do people get married

If they do so in their thirties

It's the most communiage

And if you are in your thirty

And then you're not married

Will people judge you in any way

No

Not really

Almost people just stay out of it

I'm

It's not uncommon for people to be not married in the thirties and forties in america now is still common for you know maybe they were married before

And then the marriage in america

Um

So it's just a lot more complex

You know the whole chinese idea that has been around in the past decades this site

Whole idea of show new um

I'm personally

I really don't like the idea

But is there similar that a social stigma attached to especially women of her man it seems to be okay

But for women after certain age and people start to wonder

Why like not getting married

So so ages m not really so if you mean it across ss say say thirty three three year old womso i think she's not married

Most americans would pay no attention to it

Um does it have anything to do with whether it's in a big city or like a smaller community

Yeah Yeah

That would have a big impact

So if you're in a small town

You definitely notice them more

But in a big city you canof just blenin in with masses um

And for people who live together do they still have any of these rights

Because i know in the uk

For people who cohabit do are still afford it some legal rights as long as you can prove you've spend enough time living together as a couple

Yeah

We call that common law marriage

I think

And yes we do you have that so if you live together long enough a cohabita long enough you'll be afforded some of the same rights as a traditionally married couple

Would get like we split up

Lit up

Property is separated you'll get rights to visitation in hospitals and stuff

Like that okay

And now let's move on to the opposite side ted divorce is it getting more and more common

It

It len't really changed much in the past

Twenty years

But it's about forty percent uh riages fail yeah in china is shooting up as well also basically

Now it's probably seen as a very very common place so right in america

There's absolutely knows digma attached divorce anymore

It's so common as like oh from divorced okay

And like kids from divorce parents they're also somehow adapting to it

I'm my kids from divorce parents

If it's hard on the kids

It's always on the kids from your parents spt up

But i mean having kids with step parents and parents in america

In america just just a standard

Now it was honestly going

Going to university

When i was assun in university

It was actually very odd defined a id

Id had parents

The original were still married is like i knew one

Is like he peractijust still married

Wow

Like i have a lot of other friends

Like divorce

Divorce

Divorce

Divorce parents

It was divorce and probably remarried

Yeah is quite common

Quite

Quite common

What about having kids out of wet law

Because you were saying that people co habit they live together for years

And some of them more have kids well this kid get equal legal right

Yeah does just be considered a kid to be no grmptifications for the child get all full paperwork

Citizenship ship

Pasord id go to school

No problems at on

And nowadays kid won't be looked down upon because there is a staggering amount of kids born at a wdlock

And especially

If their parents are actually together

They just never got married thethere a stable able home lopaparenuh don't

Just don't have that piece of paper from the government

But what about the general view the thing is what i have observed is if you compare reality with what you see on tv or in movies

A lot of people seem to get that idea from tvs of movies

That americans are very open

A supersort of less progressive

And maybe very casual about the ideal family

But based on my observation experience and in reality

People are actually quite conservative in america

When it comes to the whole family value

And all that yeah

Most americans would say it's better to be married or a long term relationship before you have kids

And most americans would whoview that you should try to avoid being a single parent um as it does make parenting much harder

Um um so no americans are tend to be more conservative and tradition

When it comes to family

Thether open to legnal traditional styles of family

But they still think you should have like especially when it comes to kids um a stable home like and parents instead of steady relationship right and how how the general public in especial al states responding to all of these changes for example like fewer and fewer people a bother to get married

Yeh depends on which age ask young people that's their norm um and for the older generation is

Is people just think

Think people are just losing their values um uh

I think that's true about any generation and any time

There's a change in a culture one thing i'm always quite curious about is the general public attitude towards cheating is cheating seeen as a very serious thing

I mean

Now it's considered very bad

Not just from their people in the relationship

But even your friends might look down upon you

Because you're being dishonest

So let's just imamaine

If

If you have close frienend or a colleague youyouve known for ine

If like so leyou find out out

Wshshe is actually cheating on their partner

嗯

Would that actually change how you fundamentally see them as a person most likely

And it is that very common for let's say probably average american

Yeah

It would be quite common

Because this is so in generally

If people cheat on each other

You don't just lose your partner

You can also lose your friends in them

Because y'they can need respect for you

Because you would have been better office

Like if you're not happy with this person

Why didn't you just break up with them and move on

And then you wouldn't have wash your friends this way um

But the act of it is about loyalty and honesty

And does affect your character

Yeah

It's like to be honest

Whenever people start to talk about the topic of cheating

You always hear people say like uh yeah

But in this country people cheat as well

But i'm usually not very interested in the cheater or the person who's being cheated on

But more on the bystandards attitudes

Because i always feel like that really says about the society and its values

Rather than because in any culture you have cheaters right

They usually just do it about of the same reasons right

But the bystandards

How they stand

That really is what determines what family values and all that

And this is also how i feel it seems that in some cularers of people less tolerant the bystandards

Bystandards people less tolerant

Yeah

Americans stand ded it on the less tolerance

And if it's a public figure with that potentially rather image

Yeah

It can hurt their image very much

That was years back

If people running for president

And because they found out that he's cheated

And he had to drop out of the campaign or the probably happened

I'm not aware of anything

Um okay right

So if you're listening to this show

And if you have anything to ask

Or if you have anything to share based on your own experience

Or you're understanding

Don't forget to leave us a comment in the comon

And thank you

James for coming huto to studio

And to talk to us about this topic

Thank you for having me lluu

And thank you for listening

I'll see you next time

Bye bye

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