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I Was Never Your Choice - ArlenaZara
I stood right in front of you
Still felt invisible
I loved you with a hopeful heart
You loved me optional
I waited while you hesitated
Called patience being strong
I kept believing I was next
But I was wrong
You kept me close when you were lonely
Let me go when you were fine
I was always in between
Never fully mine
I was never your choice
Just the place you stayed
When you were tired of running
Or afraid
I gave you all my certainty
You gave me maybe, maybe not
I was never your choice
I was just what you forgot
I defended you in every room
Even when it hurt
I blamed myself for your confusion
Like I deserved
I loved the version of you that only lived in my head
I kept hoping you'd decide
Instead you left
I made myself convenient
I learned how to wait
I shrank my needs into silence
So you could hesitate
I was never your choice
Just your in-between
The one you held for comfort
Not for keeps
I gave you all my loyalty
You gave me reasons to doubt
I was never your choice
But I chose you anyhow
Maybe love scared you
Maybe I asked too much
But love doesn't leave you questioning every single touch
I won't regret the way I loved
Even if it broke my heart
But next time I'll choose someone who chooses me from the start
I was never your choice
But now I am mine
I won't beg for love
That won't decide
I release the waiting
I release the doubt
I was never your choice
But I've chosen me now
I wasn't hard to love
You just didn't choose me