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They stitched my mouth with gentle thread
Before I had a word for loss
I breathed through the seam for years
Called it air
They shaped my spine to fit a chair
I sat so long the wood and bone
Grew into each other
I wore the grain and called it mine
Underneath the skin they gave me
Something stubborn still is turning
Quiet unnamed underground
Hasn't seen the light in years
But hasn't stopped
They say —steady hands girl
They say —soft voice girl
They say —don't you dare make a sound
So I swallowed the earthquake
Buried the thunder under bone
Kept the aftershocks so still
Even I forgot the noise
They said a flower kept in glass
Doesn't need the weather
Cut me at the root
Called it keeping me together
I bloomed for weeks in water still
Forgot the taste of rain
By the time the petals fell
No one looked beneath
They said too much water drowns a thing
So I learned to hold it in
Held so long the river found a bed of dust
And called it home
I filed myself to fit
Every door they built for me
Filed so long
The filings and the bone
Are the same dust now
They say —this is your shape girl
They say —this is your path girl
They say —this is all you'll ever be
Twenty years of fitting in
I fit so well I haunt the place
Stretched the skin back over bone
That forgot how long it's supposed to be
—it'll break
But mountains aren't born
From keeping still
I know some of what they buried
Was roads they never walked themselves
They called their fear protection
Called the rubble love
But a life lived inside another's mouth
Will never learn
Its own name
Rise
I say —let them see me shake
I say —let them hear me break
I say —make no mistake
This is about me
My name
I write it myself