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St George And The Dragonet - Stan Freberg
The legend you are about to hear is true
Only the needle should be
Changed to protect the record
This is the countryside
My name is St George
I'm a knight
Saturday July 10th 8:05 pm
I was working out of the
Castle on the nightwatch
When a call came in from the Chief
A dragon had been devouring maidens
Homicide
My job slay him
You call me Chief
Yes the dragon again devouring maidens
The King's daughter may be next
Mmm hmm
You got a lead
Oh nothing much to go on
Say did you take that 45 automatic
Into the lab to have them check on it
Yeah you were right
I was right
Yeah It was a gun
8:22 pm I talked to one of the maidens
Who had almost been devoured
Could I talk to you Ma'am
Who are you
I'm St George Ma'am
Homicide Ma'am
Want to ask you a few questions Ma'am
I understand you were
Almost devoured by the Ma'am
Is that right dragon
It was terrible
He breathed fire on me
He burned me already
How can I be sure of that Ma'am
Believe me
I got it straight from the dragon's mouth
11:45 pm
I rode over the King's Highway
I saw a man
Stopped to talk to him
Pardon me Sir
Could I talk to you for just a minute Sir
Sure I don't mind
What do you do for a living
I'm a knave
Didn't I pick you up on a 903
Last year for stealing tarts
Yeah so what
Do you wanna make a federal case out of it
No Sir
We heard there was a dragon
Operating in this neighborhood
We just want to know if you've seen him
Sure I've seen him
Mmm hmm
Could you describe him for me
What's to describe
You see one dragon you seen 'em all
Would you try to remember Sir
Just for the record
We just want to get the facts Sir
Well he was you know
He had orange polka dots
Yes Sir
Purple feet breathing fire and smoke
Mmm hmm
And one big bloodshot eye
Right in the middle of his forehead and
Uh like that
Notice anything unusual about him
No he's just your run of the
Mill dragon you know
Mmm hmm
Yes Sir
You can go now
Hey by the way how you gonna catch him
I thought you'd never ask
A Dragonet
3:05 pm
I was riding back into the courtyard
To make my report to the lab
Then it happened
It was the dragon
Hey I'm the fire breathin' Dragon
You must be St George right
Yes Sir
I can see you got one of them new
45 caliber swords
That's about the size of it
Ha ha ha ha ha ha
You slay me
That's what I wanted to talk to you about
What do you mean
I'm taking you in on a 502
You figure it out
What's the charge
Devouring maidens out of season
Out of season
You'll never pin that rap on me
Do you hear me cop
Yeah I hear you
I got you on a 412 too
A 412
What's a 412
Over acting Let's go
On September the 5th the Dragon
Was tried and convicted
His fire was put out and his maiden
Devouring license revoked
Maiden devouring out of season is punishable
By a term of not less than 50
Or more than 300 years