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I rehearse in the mirror
Whole speeches in the steam
By the time I see you
They’re ghosts behind my teeth
Coffee’s gone cold
While I’m nodding like it’s fine
All the sharp little syllables
Stuck on the back of my mind
All these words I swallowed
Burn on the way down
Heavy in my chest
When you’re still around
If I spit them out
Would you stay
Would you go?
All these words I swallowed
You will never know
You ask
“Are you okay?”
I laugh
Change the scene
Point at something outside
Let the silence in between
Draw circles on the table
Like I’m tracing what I meant
Every almost-confession
Curves
Then breaks
Then bends
All these words I swallowed
Burn on the way down
Heavy in my chest
When you’re still around
If I spit them out
Would you stay
Would you go?
All these words I swallowed
You will never know
Maybe I’m scared of the echo
Scared of the end of pretending
So I stack tiny unsaid sentences
Like dishes never sending
One day they’ll crack
They’ll crash
Pour out in one rough stream
’Til then I talk in half-truths
And finish the fights in my dreams
All these words I swallowed
Burn on the way down
Heavy in my chest
When you’re still around
If I spit them out
Would you stay
Would you go?
All these words I swallowed
You will never know