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BusdriverMy name ain't Tucker
Biff
or Spunk-Meyer
Don't have a putting-iron
nor is my hair gray
Hey that's your name
and you got bird droppings on your sun visor from an air-raid of flying monkeys with head-propellers
You ask what's The Weather
I have a wet umbrella
He has a parasol in the sand
So guess what it is us
and when you are in The Weather
you're covered in tar and chicken feathers
Then there's orange cones around my bed
cuz I be manufacturing dreams so you can put 'em in you answering machine
and I sell them to people who get into fender-benders in bumper-to-bumper traffic
I use to think I was named after a star cluster
but it turns out it was a bumper sticker on a car bumper
an obscure reference
not the pure essence
That's what I'm asking
Your suggestions for a new one
You can name me after the inventor of the whoopee-cushion or a teenager who's bud cookie cooking
or I know
I'll buy one when I rob this Bank of America branch with a finger poking through my pocket of these pair of pants
Then I will escape to Paris
France
and I'll live on a yoga farm and join many hippie caravans
But now I'm selling finger paintings from a centerfold to be in a LA roach motel that's rent controlled
Your name should cry out to women wearing crotchless panties and plastic aprons
feeding chocolate candies that are wrapped in bacon to unsophisticated sloth
They don't know their names
They write them backwards on their foreheads to remember
Oh their annoying
tenderloin LA women
LA women rule with an obedient poise on a sitting stole
I salvage her bathing suit top when I clean out my swimming pool
She has an off switch
With a fat wallet
I made a cash deposit in her ovulating ovaries
What's God and Satan's college debating teams' lawyer fee for moderating my name dispute
I swear I'm worth my body weight in saxophone reeds.
RadioinactiveInactive device to activate the sacrifice
Just another funny looking Mediterranean brother
as the head of an alien hovers
I've been meaning to mail it to mother
All these heathens are killing each other
A killer recovers by victims who suffer
I recover the killer with colorful silver psychic ability
helmet facility
paper and pencil
An apron's essential when carving your mental
The kitchen ware's *****in there
look at that frigidaire
Its covered in pigeon hair
Petition for the competition to fill out the questionnaire
Will a disgusted protestor appear
We discussed the contestant's sincere desire to respond to the questions they hear
Makes me question the answers by learning that German announcers are learning to pronounce your last name with an English accent
There's tremendous skiing in Aspen
European assassins pretending to be Alaskan are defending their tea time contraption against masculine women
Don't ask me when swimming in grass skirts and linens
I crash into women by accident grinning
Here's some cash for the cleaning of my cottage cheese ceiling
I've got a strange feeling about your outerspace healing
This clam chowder is from New Zealand
I had a bit of veal in the capital of potato peeling
I battle dull amateurs
leave em embedded in edible bandages
Incredible Hulk Hogan smoking medical coke in the Club Med in Hoboken
I'm clubbing you over the head with the head of Hulk Hogan attached to a bazooka
Except I gave you a crew cut before hand
I'm the door man opening up your bags
and they give me a couple of bucks to do so
I knew no precautions would be taken
sticking a wooden stake in a woman for taking too long
in the basement a bomb
I say so in the song
but it's not the truth
Look at the doctor's boots
They're made of solid gold
Call it sold
Sold that before I made it
Norton created file savers for aisle gazers
Shopping for Miles Davis
wash cloth repellant
osh kosh for felons
Let's mosh for Elvis
If you have fresh pot to sell us
let's wash the shelves kids
just like the elves did
If you dislike the velvet
there'll be fist fights in hell kid
So kiss my lapel
Using a pellet gun on the pelican fisherman Mel
melodramatic developing habits of actors
a rabbits fatal fight with a badger
fatal attraction
I labeled the caption with a close captioned rose napkin
Actions are greater than words
The waiter deserves a good tip
I cater to the nerves of wordsmiths
I'm here to preserve the weird and absurd in cowshit.