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Paused Without A Reason - BeeWaee
The clock kept moving on its own
While I sat still like polished stone
Nothing broken, nothing bled
Still I couldn't lift my head
The room was calm, the light was kind
Nothing storming in my mind
No loud sorrow, no big scene
And I was paused without a reason
The plans were written, eating straight
Each one saying, "Don't be late"
They just waited by the door
While my feet stayed on the floor
No bad news came, no harsh word fell
No dramatic ringing bell
Just a hush I couldn't loosen
So I paused without a reason
No clear story to explain
Just a stillness in my veins
Paused without a reason
Like a sentence missing sound
Like a train that didn't leave
Though the tracks were all laid down
Not a loss and not a treason
Just a heart that wouldn't run
Paused without a reason
Under an ordinary sun
The kettle sang then slowly cooled
Every habit followed rules
Life kept knocking, soft but real
I just couldn't find the wheel
Smiles came and faded light
Didn't feel the urge to fight
Not in winter, not in season
Just paused without a reason
Friends were living bright and loud
Moving forward through the crowd
I was there and yet aside
Like the sea without a tide
Not unhappy, not in pain
Just a still unfelling rain
Waiting for some inner beacon
Paused without a reason
Nothing shattered, nothing gone
Just a switch not turning on
Paused without a reason
Like a movie on a frame
Breath still warm inside my chest
But the spark not quite the same
No big ending, no cold freezing
No one's fault and nothing wrong
Paused without a reason
In a quietly longer song
Maybe hearts just need a rest
From the endless, "do your best"
Maybe standing, barely moving
Is its own kind of improving
Maybe meaning comes and goes
Like the tide that no one knows
Maybe stopping for a season
Doesn't have to need a reason
So I'll sit here soft and slow
Watch the afternoon light grow
Let the seconds drift and play
Till they nudge me on my way
When the next small step arrives
I will join the waking lives
Till then I'm just in this margin
Paused without a reason
Paused without a reason
Not behind and not ahead
Just a space between two pages
Where no heavy words are said
No confession, no cohesion
Just a breath that lingers on
Paused without a reason
Till the next small move is born
If tomorrow turns the key
I will follow where I'm free
If it doesn't, that's okay
I will meet myself this way
In this quiet, unplanned season
Paused without a reason