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She Fought Like A Tiger For 'er 'onour - Gracie Fields
My auntie Flo is sixty or so
She always says she's old-fashioned and slow
She's never been married
You'll hear her exclaim
But she's covered some grass
In her time all the same
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
With funny old-fashioned ideas
Men of today are unmanly she'll say
And they don't seem to love in the old-fashioned way
She says she has dreams of a lover sublime
He comes in her sleep like a nursery rhyme
So she stays in her bed for three weeks at a time
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
Cocktails and spirits she never permits
But last Christmas party she had us in fits
She drank two small ports and then did the split
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
Auntie will say: girls of today
Speak in the naughtiest blush-making way
But tell her a story you think is new
And she'll say "I heard that one before I was two "
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
With funny old-fashioned ideas
Children today are all spoiled she will say
How different from good Queen Victoria's day
Singing she says is an art that is dead
And crooners well they simply make her see red
But she's twenty-seven portraits of Bing round her bed
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
She's one of those old-fashioned ladies
With funny old-fashioned ideas
Girls say such things you will hear Auntie tell
And this slang from America's really well well
"Gosh" and "oh gee" sound so common she'll say
The worst of the lot is that dreadful "OK "
But I heard her call someone a "twerp" yesterday
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
She says that the talkies with sickness weak
Not fit for a lady to see or to speak
And she ought to know she goes five times a week
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies
She's one of those old-fashioned ladies
With funny old-fashioned ideas
Husbands today are so rare she will say
So she just jogs along in her spinsterly way
It seems such a pity she never was wed
But she has a cat and a parrot instead
And a hot-water bottle she always calls "Fred"
'Cause she's one of those old-fashioned ladies