There once was a man who just couldn't cry
He hadn't cried for yearsfor years
Napalmed babiesthe movie 'Love Story'
For instance could not produce tears
As a child he had cried as all children will
But at some point the tear ducts ran dry
He grew to be a manthe feces hit the fan
Things got bad but he couldn't cry
His dog got run over his wife upleft him
After that he got sacked from his job
Lost an arm in the war was laughed at by a w***e
But still not a snifflesob
Well his novel was refusedhis movie was banned
And his biog Broadway show was a flop
He was sent off to jail you guessed it no bail
But still not a dribble or drop
In jail he was beaten bulliedbuggered
And made to make licence plates
Waterbread was all he was fed
But not once did a tear stain his face
Doctors were called in scientists too
Theologians were lastpractically least
They all agreed sure enough
He was no cream puff
But in fact an insensitive beast
He was removed from jailplaced in a place
For the insensitivethe insane
He played lots of chesshe made lots of friends
And he wept every time it would train
Once it rained 40 daysit rained 40 nights
And he cried and he cried and he cried and he cried
On the 41st day he just passed away
He just dehydrateddied
He went up to heaven located his dog
Not only that but he rejoined his arm
Down below all the critics they took it all back
Cancer robbed the w***e of her charm
His ex-wife died of stretch marks his ex-employer went broke
The theologians were finally found out
Right down to the ground the prison burned down
The earth suffered perpetual drought